Tall Rules





Tall Rule #3: Skinny tall people are allowed to eat thrice as much as short people. Fat tall people are allowed to eat 7,000 times as much.

Tall Rule #3: Skinny tall people are allowed to eat thrice as much as short people. Fat tall people are allowed to eat 7,000 times as much.


Tall Rule #22: When a man tells you that you are too tall for you car, tell him that he is too short for social acceptance, then step on him

Tall Rule #22: When a man tells you that you are too tall for you car, tell him that he is too short for social acceptance, then step on him

Tall rule #52: Furniture in a glass house = curb appeal. If you can see it, keep it clean and nice. This goes for your nose, inside and out.

Tall rule #52: Furniture in a glass house = curb appeal. If you can see it, keep it clean and nice. This goes for your nose, inside and out.



Tall rule #31: Don’t let anyone convince you that you belong at the back of a group photo. For me, it’s front and center 24/7, baby!

Tall rule #31: Don’t let anyone convince you that you belong at the back of a group photo. For me, it’s front and center 24/7, baby!

Tall rule #18: the “tall tee” has a place in the rap community, but if you are not a rapper, thou shalt not wear a tall tee. I’m sorry.

Tall rule #18: the “tall tee” has a place in the rap community, but if you are not a rapper, thou shalt not wear a tall tee. I’m sorry.


Tall rule #75: At some point, you might want to wear skinny jeans. DON’T DO IT. Skinny jeans (and lameness) are for normal size people

Tall rule #75: At some point, you might want to wear skinny jeans. DON’T DO IT. Skinny jeans (and lameness) are for normal size people

Tall rule #103: never eat fish. What a waste of your eating potential. You should only eat beef, bacon, candy, pineapple, and FMW.

Tall rule #103: never eat fish. What a waste of your eating potential. You should only eat beef, bacon, candy, pineapple, and FMW.


Tall rule #111: When asked, the weather up here is always better than down there, where no women will date you because you’re too short.

Tall rule #111: When asked, the weather up here is always better than down there, where no women will date you because you’re too short.

Tall rule #168: Never raise your arms on a rollercoaster. It may seem cool, but what if there is a low pole or something? I like my arms, yo

Tall rule #168: Never raise your arms on a rollercoaster. It may seem cool, but what if there is a low pole or something? I like my arms, yo


Tall rule #29: you do not have an obligation to get something off a high shelf unless you are getting it for a female or a super old man

Tall rule #29: you do not have an obligation to get something off a high shelf unless you are getting it for a female or a super old man